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When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people......
It`s not stretching if it doesn`t involve crazy dinosaur noises.
I`ve considered changing career paths and becoming a demolitions expert, but then I hear the education may cost me an arm and a leg.
Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
Should have never gave my cat a lemon, now he’s walking around like a sour puss.
can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) - LOL
The only thing I hate about beer is that there`s absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
If I randomly burst out in laughter, it`s usually `cause I just told myself a joke I`d never heard before :)
To all the lovely ladies here I`m not wearing green....to all the guys here, I know Ju-Jitsu. Just saying
What’s the answer to this question?
I hope my last words aren’t “What does this thing do?”
I just found a piece of pizza in my trash can. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!!
Hit the popcorn button on my microwave but none has appeared yet.
I`m the type of person who will throw away the manual and ponder for 3 hours "where the hell do I start"