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Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
Raise the bar..? Like go and drink upstairs..?
All I heard was, " I swear it`ll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
I remember my single days like it was 11 years, 1 month, and 12 days ago.
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
Your mother never saw the irony in calling you son of a bitch.
No one understands you better than some crazy weirdos on the internet.
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them