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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
I don’t mean to alarm you but you know those people in your office that can’t work the fax machine? They’re driving home on the same roads.
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
I wish Facebook wasn`t the only place I could block people from my life.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
I have company coming, does a spork go on the right or left side?
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but I’m trying to be proactive.
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
"Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it." -Me lying to someone who`s pointing out a constellation
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.