Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I work up the courage to tell you I love you...the least you can do is introduce yourself to me dammit.
What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?
So my friend is mad at me because I slept with her ex. Her instructions were very clear when they broke up, she said "F*ck that guy!"
Is beer cheaper on cyber monday?
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
People who make really bad decisions are always like "I have the worst luck"
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
Just washed my car with the squeegee at the gas station.
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why
I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.