Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wedding: The really expensive party taking place relatively 5-10 years before your divorce.
Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn`t have said out loud.
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
Googling ways to dispose of a body, mostly to freak out the douche behind me who keeps staring at my laptop screen
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you`ve been screwed to get there.
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
Dearest Neighbors, Please do not call the police, it`s not domestic violence or a wild party. It`s football season, that`s just me screaming at my TV.
If I’ve learned anything from Game of Thrones it’s that I need a wolf.
The Internet: 1% information 1% jokes 98% outrage over information and jokes
If you don’t count any of my failures, I’m quite successful.
It`s hard to look like a bad-ass when you`re slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
I`m at my most badass when I`m popping a wheelie with a shopping cart.
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.