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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
Turtle: I`m the slowest. Snail: No, me. Internet Explorer: Bitch, please
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
Here Friday Friday...come on...hurry up! Oh no you don`t! You come when I call you damn it! Get your a$$ over here. ... good boy!
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my debit card goes through.
What idiot called it a contraction and not a birthquake?
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
If everyone would just be naughty next year, Santa would bring us all coal ... energy crisis solved!
Fun Prank: Put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me.
Hey you! Yea you ... Don`t just pass by my status and not say hi.