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Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
Why go out and pretend to like people when you have Netflix?
Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring ... so I go back to being me. ;)
I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius.
Don`t tell me I look tired unless you`re offering to carry me
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
If you wake up with a funny taste in your mouth on christmas morning...............just remember that santa only cums once a year. :D
My wife treats me like a God…She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
I’m not saying I’m psychic, but I’m positive I will have no interest in what you’re about to say.
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
If you can read this please let me know - because it means I blocked the wrong person.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.