Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just googled "who gives a sh!t?" My name wasn`t in the search results.
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
I`m convinced some people got married just so they could gripe about being married...
My favorite all time cooking shows: 1. Iron Chef 2. Hell`s Kitchen 3. Breaking bad
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
Girlfriend: You`re acting like a little kid. Me: What do mean, little kids can`t drink.
Their bedroom door is closed. I better walk in there for no reason. - kids
I don`t know what`s longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
When I was a teenager, a "selfie" meant something totally different than it does today.
Ummm,, Can we just admit we may have taken this anybody can grow up to be President thing a bit too far.
How I talk: 25% swearing, 25% sarcasm 50% a combination of both.
Iām glad to know that we will never have to worry about a lack of weathermen. I mean, I know at least a couple dozen on Facebook.