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I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
Iām offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.
I just awesomed all over the place.
Pool party at my house, bring ur own pool..
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
We get it poets: things are like other things
If he`s dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven`t gotten my period."
Fun Fact about me: The drunker I get, the more karate I know.
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg and some days you`re that guy who hit the propeller on the way down.
After socializing and being nice to people all day it`s nice to sit down, drink by myself, and be an a$$hole on the Internet.