Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My neck, My back, My Netflix and my snacks...
Dumped my multiple personality girlfriend yesterday. She took it well, not so well, and she was really upset...
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I`m being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I`m talking about
Guys, if my hair doesn`t look like a birds nest afterward, you`re doing it wrong.
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
If its the thought that counts, then I`ve banged so many hot chicks.
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
Most difficult job ever.......Working in a bubble wrap factory......Imagine the self control needed.
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
If the cupcake has some green sprinkles on it, it`s a vegetable, right?