Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it`s because they`ve just killed someone right?
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
When I try to fold fitted sheets it looks like I’m in an infomercial that’s exaggerating how difficult it is to fold fitted sheets.
I am so thankful for all the people that aren`t in my life.
If a girl texts you and asks if you think she`s fat and you try to respond "Nooo" autocorrect changes it to "Moo" so that`s pretty cool.
Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music off the internet.
I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
I liked you better before we met.
I need more people like me in my life
Don`t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he’ll probably be like, “Hey, remember when you used to just give me fish?”
Some days the problem is I care too much… Today was not one of those days…
I don`t even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullsh!t.
It`s not stalking if you love them!