Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I put the o in illiterate!
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
We live in the era of smartphones & stupid people
Funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers a day seems so easy
Why do people with really bad breath always want to tell you secrets?
One day, I will solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be with alcohol.
When I was kid, I... No wait, I still do that.
If I have ten pieces of bacon and you take five pieces, what do you have? Thats right., A black eye and a broken hand!
Counting to ten when someone pisses you off works much better if you`re counting punches.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere complement on their mustache...and then she won`t talk to you anymore.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.
Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want ... cause you`re not driving.
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
I`m a little Stressed right now ... Just turn around and leave quietly and no one gets hurt.