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I’ve made some mistakes I wish I could make again.
It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
Remember when double entry was an accounting term?
My friend is a magician, she can turn anything into an argument.
Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, who the F#%K are you?
I think salads help you lose weight because they`re gross and you end up not eating them
We`re all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap.
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away
If you put Root Beer in a square glass do you get Beer?
Unless my horoscope says, "You will dread going to work and will most likely masturbate," then it is a crock of sh*t.
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person ... apparently they call that stalking.
Me: You`re the prettiest girl I`ve ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you`re smart too, I like that.