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Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
I just want to find someone who will love me for exactly who I am pretending to be.
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
Does eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
If love is blind....why is lingerie so popular?
Let`s face it. Seeing a camel toe in leopard print tights at Walmart is probably the closest any of us will ever get to going on an African safari.
Facebook should just change it`s name to "People You May Want to Avoid."
I like wearing glasses because I like to dramatically remove them before I say something profound. Doing that with contacts doesn`t have the same effect.
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
The one thing women don`t want to find in their stockings on christmas morning is their husband
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
I`m afraid if I start working out, I`ll be too sexy