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real eyes realize real lies
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
You haven`t really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
“Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
I just took the "What Kind of Asshole are You?" quiz and got "The kind that posts my results on Facebook".
Some people are just pure evil...I should know because I`m one of them.
I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.
I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I’m going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.