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I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
It`s bad luck to be superstitious.
There`s a lot of perks being a single parent, for one no witnesses.
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
I just took the "What Kind of Asshole are You?" quiz and got "The kind that posts my results on Facebook".
I will resolve to spend less time on Facebook..............ok, got that one out of the way.....................
Why do I even have unlimited texting?
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
I was discussing with my friend about the popular trends on sex, marriage and values. He says to me, "I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" I replied. "I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?"
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!