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Types of like on facebook: 1.Stalker like. 2.Crush like. 3.I wanna bang you like. 4.Agree like 5.Pity like.
Listening to your wife is like reading the terms and conditions of a website. Sometimes you understand nothing, and still you say..."I Agree".....!
I´m (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
Sometimes I find myself envious of how well Waldo can hide..
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
Whoever invented the 5 day work week and 2 day weekend can suck my a**!
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
If only my goals were to be poor, lazy and out of shape.
I`m not just living paycheck to paycheck. I`m living from paycheck to change jar to scrap aluminum to liquor store to paycheck.
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, "Should I help?" Then I thought, "No...6 should be enough."