Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Everything you paid $50,000 to learn in college is now on the Internet for free.
I ate cereal for dinner because I do what I want. I`m an adult. Oh did I say adult? I meant poor. It`s because I`m poor.
when life gives you lemons; ask for tequila and salt
I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog.
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you`re right fellas, men are smarter than women.
The true definition of safe sex is having a padded headboard.
Still waiting for a criminal on Law and Order to say,,, "Hey,, Aren`t you Ice-T?"
Why do we offer "a word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones that need the advice?
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
Its national shave your... Well, tomorrow is valentine`s day. Just an FYI.
Hand dryers are a great way to see how your hands look while skydiving.
Is it bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening?
Key to a Happy Life: Get a job where people ask, “You actually get paid for doing this?”
Never change. Unless you’re an a$$hole. Then you should probably change a little.