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Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won`t be able to see.
Explain to me the down side of being under house arrest.
Just Failed my Health and Saftey Test.The question was,"What steps would u take,in case of a fire?!"Big f*cking ones"was the wrong answer.
Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who`s shampooing their shoulder hair? ... please come forward.
Today`s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
We have so much in common. You want to travel and I want you to go.
The only thing actually impossible in life is taking a picture for a group of women and having ALL of them like it.
Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.
Daylight Saving Time rocks. It even makes laziness sound impressive. I did nothing for 24 hours? Not today. I did nothing for 25 hours!
Hoping that Steve Harvey isn`t the one announcing the winning Powerball numbers tonight!
What kind of downward spiral would cause a person to "like" cream cheese on Facebook?