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You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.
Some relationships are like fat people, they don`t Workout!!
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
The best part about living in a small town is when I don`t know what I`m doing, someone else does.
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 6 cookies.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn`t I?