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They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
All my biological clock does, is let me know when it`s time to eat again
Nipples (noun) - the body`s way of telling you the weather
Every dog is a badass until you decide to vacuum.
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
I don`t know why I even bother chewing corn.
This status update contains many of the same words that appear on Pulitzer Prize winning novels.
If you don`t do stupid sh!t while you`re young, you`ll have nothing to talk about later in life while sitting at the bar.
Ever noticed how you used to be embarrassed by things you did or that happen to you, but now your first thought is "I can post that"
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL
It should really be called teethpaste.
Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.