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What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
Iβm not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
To say I wasted today would be a huge insult to the producers of the 3 movies I watched.
If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they`d put cocaine back in their recipe.
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
When I was young I could climb mountains, these days I have to steady myself to fart.
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
People who live in bouncy castles shouldnβt throw darts.
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, βWhy donβt you stalk me anymoreβ
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
Why must I prove I`m me, if I`m callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!