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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
have you ever been like "what`s the day today? ... no i mean the like the number".
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
I like my coffee like I like my women, hot and a lot of alcohol in them
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
According to my neighbor`s rooster, it`s 5am now. Also according to my neighbor`s rooster, we`re having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.
If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is not working.
Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
Somewhere the inventor of yoga pants is near death from all the high fives and non-stop free tequila shots he gets.
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.
I just want to alternate between napping and eating all day everyday while getting attention, so basically I just wish I were a dog.