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I`m all over that like a fat kid on a Smarty
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 40 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 3. Now close your eyes.... It`s dark isn`t it.
If you didn`t want to be hit with a shovel then you never should have started telling me about your problems.
This might be my ego talking, but I feel my weight-loss spambot followers care about me. They really, really, do.
Let`s share...you take the grenade and I`ll take the pin.
Cars should come with two horns: one that’s like “Hey guys!” & another that’s like “I will end you!”
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
I`m sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race.
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to go poop after you get out of the shower.
I don’t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
My ex says that he will dance on my grave. I`ve now arranged to be buried at sea