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Nothing improves creativity like a lack of supervision!
I`m not crazy I`m just special! No wait maybe I am crazy.. One second, I have to talk to myself about this hold on...
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
"I`d hit that!" -Helpful blackjack dealer
It`s all sh*ts and giggles till somebody giggles and sh*ts
I look so young for my rage.
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart
Going to a bar where "everybody knows your name" sounds terrifying.
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
The heart wants what the heart wants. *opens 12th beer*
Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.
My husband`s wife is freakin` awesome!
If someone farts at a poker tournament, no one will ever know who did it.