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Between Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, Castle, and Monk...I am now fairly confident I can get away with pretty much anything.
I cant remember the last time i forgot something
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
This is the earliest I have ever been late.
Guess what I saw today? ... Everything I looked at.
McDonald`s sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
"are you as bored as I am?" if you read that backwards, it still makes sense.
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
There`s been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...
The fact that I start clapping every time someone says "Please give me a hand" is only like the number 6 reason I dont have friends.
My goal in life: Build a time machine and travel forward into the future until I can stop and ask someone "Do you know what `buffering` is?" and they are clueless.
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?