Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
My kids don`t even know they have a grandma that gives them $100 on their birthdays
Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
So what if I`m single now ... I mean it can`t be that hard to boil toast, can it?
Was at an Apple store today when I let out a really loud fart. Boy, the employee`s were so mad. Hey, Not my fault they don`t have windows!
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
If one teacher cannot teach every subject, then how come one student is expected to learn all the subjects.
The only thing I`ve learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them
Life Lesson: Never ever, ever do anything you wouldn`t want to explain to a nurse in a busy ER.
Know what this salad needs? A Big Mac.
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
You ever notice that the number of extra steps a drunk takes getting home? ...its staggering!
I`m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest any of you in despair and disappointment?
Despite its name, Gatorade is pretty much fatal to alligators. Iām not allowed to volunteer at the zoo anymore.