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My girlfriend just threw away a bubble wrap without popping it. Just like that. I`m dating an animal :(
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
Why I stay slim? I once was forced to pay for two plane tickets, one for a person who wasn`t travelling with me. That`s why.
If I ran NASA, it would be mandatory for the ground crew to be dressed as apes when the space shuttle lands.
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
Well, THAT Jehovah`s Witness isn`t going to forget anytime soon what they witnessed when I answered the door.
Every dog is a badass until you decide to vacuum.
Iām convinced that the employees of McDonalds were just customers who could pay and are working off their bills.
The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain`t good.
Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible
My whole life is based on a true story...