Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Shhh...you had me at "alcohol may intensify effect..."
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
Not all country music is terrible. If you can get past the lyrics about trucks, mud, farms and cows... It`s actually not too bad.
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
Sometimes people try to expose what`s wrong with you, because they can`t handle what`s right about you.
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
Dear women at Walmart with 6 screaming kids: if your wondering how that box of condoms got in your cart.... Your welcome!
Thanks to yesterday`s chili, I can definitively tell you that there are 242 tiles in this bathroom stall.
I like dressing in a red polo shirt then going to Target & being rude to costumers
Rump roast is called rump roast because nobody would eat it if it was called cow`s ass
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
Back before Walmart, you used to have to buy a ticket to see a bearded woman.
Just another day of not being rich and famous.