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You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
Apparently, 4 people die every year trying to put their pants on... - me, explaining to my (ex)boss why I went in with no pants
If I could time travel, I`d make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don`t like her new haircut.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
Sometimes I listen to strangers conversations and mentally give my opinion