Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let’s get naughty and save Santa the trip.
I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone`s house on fire. Either way, I`m prepared.
Men, if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.
According to cannibals it only takes one vegetarian to make vegetarian chili.
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
Own the day
You know its a bad day when your fat pants are tight :(
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.
Good morning my friends ... Wait a minute ... What the f*ck am I doing up this early.
I just sent out my daily text to a random number saying "I hit Zack with my truck. I`m going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up.
I don’t care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.
I didn`t know until this week that so many people I know are politicians...
I feel like we really lowered our expectations of what constitutes magic when we began using it to describe markers