Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat`s hair grows back.
You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
One trenta cheeseburger please.
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
Have you ever noticed the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
I hope when I die, it`s early in the morning so I don`t go to work that day for no reason.
Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth ... and drink all the vodka inside ... It seems to help
What do 95% of men do after an orgasm? Delete their browser history.
I`m starting to wish I were a werewolf so I`d have a better reason for waking up nude in public with no memory of how I got there.
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.
One of the saddest days of my life was when I heard that bears sleep for half the year and I realized I had been born the wrong species