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The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
The women at this gym act like nobody’s ever tried taking their measurements before.
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
Turns out I`m ambidextrous at yet another sport! And I even scored a bingo twice. Left-handed!
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
I’ve been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to “that”.
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my debit card goes through.
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
If you find a four-leaf clover it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
This one time, I got trapped inside a couch cushion fort for like 47 days cause I forgot to put a secret door on it.
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated.
I Don`t Care If you Don`t Like Me .. Iam Not A Facebook Status :D