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Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
I will not let people drive me crazy because I know it`s in walking distance.
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
I fart because it`s the only gas I can afford.
Flu (noun) - The only time when having used tissues laying next to your bed is socially acceptable.
I puked in the backseat of my friend`s brand new Mustang in the Fall of 1989. There wasn`t any social networking back then, so I`m telling you all now...
"Truth or dare" should be renamed to "Interrogation or Humiliation"
Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
I don`t think the guy below me understands how this works.
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
It`s remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.