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"Oh Sh!t, Was That Today?" my autobiography
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.
If you`ve never played Tetris, you`re probably useless at loading a dishwasher
3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday...
Saw a Mime doing his gig. I reached into my purse and pretended to throw money in his hat.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
For Christmas I just want summer...
Holy sh*t! Did you guys know Facebook has a "sign out" button?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says "Text Me"
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.