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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
I dare you to spit on this status.
Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
Imagine being naked in a room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog.
Childhood is like being drunk: Everyone remembers what you did except you.
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
Go home Polar Vortex....yer drunk.
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
When Miley is naked & licks a hammer it’s “art” & “music” ... but when I do it, I`m “wasted” & “have to leave Home Depot"
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 8 times,......Your probably a woman.
I start every morning with a simple affirmation: I will not murder anyone today.