Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t wait to be full of Christmas beer! I mean cheer. No, I definitely mean beer.
(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
When I want your opinion, I’ll give it a funny voice.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed," many women still sleep with their husbands.
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
"Try to score a goal. Don`t use your hands. See you afterwards." - Soccer coaches
Don`t do drugs. Become a Pop star and they give `em to you FOR FREE!
I just sprayed Citrus Fabreeze in my bathroom... Now it smells like Sh*trus
That awkward moment when your parents don’t appreciate the hilarious child they have.
People think I`m crazy because I talk to my cat. What am I supposed to do? Just ignore him when he asks me a question?
According to my fitness app, I ate a 6 mile fruit roll-up.
Cop: Are you on drugs? Me: Why would I sit on drugs? Cop: Have you taken any? Me: Taken them where? Cop: I meant used drugs Me: I prefer new
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
If a girl picks an iron in monopoly you know she`s a keeper