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A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
Driving would be much more entertaining if there were no yellow lights.
An apple a day is bullsh!t. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
An arranged marriage is just another way of saying that your parents helped you get laid.
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
A comprehensive list of the things women have taught me: 1) I`m wrong.
Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I`ll have to turn to Facebook.
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life ;)
The problem with taking the road less traveled is the poor phone signal...
My winter wardrobe consists of my summer clothes layered on top of one and other.
Who picks up a seeing eye dogs poop?
If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of chickens, you are a chicken tender.
Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours
It`s the weekend!!! I haven`t been this excited since my phone got stuck on vibrate.