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Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.
I`m terribly sorry but I have decided not to grow up and act my age after all. So there.
How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?
Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
I can`t help but feel insulted when that voice on the speaker calls me a Walmart shopper.
When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
The internet has made me so ADD. Started off googling "how to replace a timing belt" ended up watching a video on how to milk a camel.
I`ll see your fun outdoor activity and raise you a nap.
Divorce: Step 1: She throws all your sh!t in the street Step 2: The judge says you have to give it all back to her.
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
And suddenly those annoying neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year long look like geniuses.
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)
I’m going to be very busy in the afterlife. the list of people I’m going to haunt grows everyday.