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I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
Awkward moment when you don’t know if you were offered gum out of generosity or if your breath stinks.
Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music off the internet.
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
No one ever reads the rules of Monopoly unless an argument breaks out.
i make the other half of the Oreo watch.
I`m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body.
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
When I grow up I wanna be a psychiatrist for the mentally insane...so i can find out what the hell is wrong with you people
I like to say "Do I smell popcorn?" right after I fart ..that way everyone quickly takes a deep breathe.
Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
Guy on plane: So, where are you going? Me: I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.