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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
I don`t know if I`ve got some free time, or if I just forgot what the hell I`m supposed to be doing...
It`s too bad parallel lines never meet because they have so much in common.
I got passed by a Prius on the Interstate and now Iām legally required to pee sitting down.
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
F is for friends who do stuff without you.
I don`t know why the Petco cashier gave me this look when I asked for the fish`s Birth date.
This might be the worst online counseling site ever.
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "