Daily Silly Status

I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.

If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 3 or 4 births before they throw you out.

I`m in big trouble if my coworkers find out I don`t really have Tourette`s.

Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.

Textaphrenia – thinking you’ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.

All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?

See above or below for better statuses.

The best part about being an adult is, nobody can tell you, you can`t have ice cream for breakfast.

You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)

I do love you for your mind, I just like your mind a lot more when you’re naked.

Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, "try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal."

I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."

I thinking about how im disgusted by holding a gas pump but yet, I have no problem drinking my beer from a cup that ten other people drank out of, and a backwash covered ping pong ball was just thrown into it after hitting a dirty a$$ garage floor??

A real friend is someone who knows how damn crazy you are... But is still willing to be seen out in public with you.

Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman.