Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in. Those inside are desperate to get out
No great story started with someone drinking water.
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.
I liked your facebook update, only so I can unlike it.
If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
There`s been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...
Itβs getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..
NyQuil is great. I love the way it comes with itΒ΄s own shot glass
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.