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People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I`m roofing.
I don’t mean to alarm you but you know those people in your office that can’t work the fax machine? They’re driving home on the same roads.
My personal fast food philosophy: If nobody knows you went to McDonald`s, you didn`t really go to McDonalds.
I don`t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He`s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here
When I`m really bored at work I like to write "I`m watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
Can`t we all just hit a bong?
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.
I spend my weekends farting in libraries and then shushing people that complain.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside