Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I think it`s safe to assume that people buying stock in twitter have never actually been on twitter.
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing & they live for 150 years. Lesson learned
Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not as funny when you live by yourself.
A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours.
I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
It’s getting harder and harder to find vodka-flavored vodka.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
You`re not living life right if you don`t get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
I`m about 0 for 300 in looking for safes behind wall paintings
Whenever somebody said they did something "Like a Boss" I assume that they did nothing but took all the credit for it.
A murderer was about to be put to death in the electric chair. "Do you have any last requests?" asked the chaplain. "One," he replied. "Will you hold my hand?"
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.
I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he`s fired!!