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Saw a midget go into a store while wearing a KKK outfit and thought... That`s a little racist.
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
That awkward moment for a guy when he`s at a urinal stall and another guy takes the stall right next to him when there`s plenty of other perfectly good stalls farther away..
WOW! This gym thing is a lot harder than it looked on Instagram.
WTF, marathoners? I don’t even like to drive 26 miles.
Instead of cleaning the house I just watch an episode of Hoarders and I think WOW, my house really looks great.
I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over.
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
Ha, SUCKA`S! I just smuggled a bag of popcorn into the movie theater. Now I just need to borrow their microwave.
If I ever put stuff in storage I`m going to write "gold bars" and "priceless memorabilia" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.
Do you think regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh crap! It’s the cops!”?
wants to rock and roll all night
I had my Crayola guy re-run the numbers,,, and there`s only 36 shades of grey