Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.
Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some sh!t.
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.
I wonder how often I’ve narrowly avoided death without even noticing.
This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that`s also the last time I`ll buy cheap toilet paper...
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
The next time the creepy guy at the bar asks you "Why aren`t you smiling?" simply reply, "I don`t smile while I fart."
It was all so different before everything changed.
My boss told me that if I can`t show up sober then don`t bother coming to work tomorrow. Three day weekend!
Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
Hold on I`m about to count my money. Alright I`m done.