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One of the most important things in life is perserverance. Hang on...perseveren...no, perserveer...pesever… oh, never mind.....
We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
Still no news on the royal baby. One will assume its being delivered by Royal Mail
My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.
I totally understand how batteries feel because I`m never included in things either
I’m glad people can’t see how I have them saved in my phone. Contact names like, “Don’t Answer” and “Douchebag” and “Owes me $100".
Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-
Why do grown ups pay to go to gyms to exercise on expensive equipment? Can`t we meet at a park after work and play tag until dark?
That one-day popularity on Facebook because it’s your birthday.
The girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.. so I went out and got drunk.
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
Every Girls Night Out has at least one crier.
Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?