Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently.
Ever work out and think "wow I really needed that"? That`s how I feel about the chocolate chip cookie I just ate.
Friend: Hey that`s a great truck. what kinda engine? Me: [rubbing the hood] it`s got a truck engine
Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on the internet right now.
I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
Marriage counselling: Because sometimes your wife needs to hear from a professional that she`s being a bitch.
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it`s strapped to the top of someone`s car.
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, “Who ate my kale?”
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...
Some people are good listeners. Mostly, though, they`re just nodding and thinking about bacon.
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.
When a newscaster says; "I am live at the scene with a person who witnessed the accident," what they really mean is; "Check out this douchetard we found at the scene of this crash."