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Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
Thought I saw a kangeroo today turned out to be a greyhound taking a dump !
If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
I`m going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night.
A lot of people seem to forget their other four fingers when waving to me.
Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It`s like a tattoo that yells at you.
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
Nobody expects you to post brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family.
Girls here`s an idea, instead of spending all that money on makeup. Just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.