Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
I don`t have mistletoe this year, so we`ll just have to kiss under the influence.
I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
If you are alone and feeling lonely, fart. Someone always walks in after you fart.
Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.
It’s funny how “You’re so funny” turns into “You think everything’s a f*cking joke” in just 3 months…
I found that 99% of the time, when I`m not listening, just saying "that`s some bullshi*t" makes them happy.
You know a guy likes you when his pants give you a thumbs up ;)
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.
You`re such a slut, the only reason why you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.