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Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
Life is so unfair, why do we always want what we don`t have? For example, right now I want tacos
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
Irony: Asking God to help you on a science exam.
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
Birds do it. Bees do it. Heck, even fleas do it. Let`s do it! Let`s live in a homeless man`s beard!
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
Things that don`t kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming
I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.
I only have one word for women who look at me like Iām some kind of sex object ... Hi.
How`d this get posted?
That time Homer`s arms were stuck in a vending machine until he realized he could just let go is basically what all of life is like