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I hate it when a website greets me with a pop-up window. It just feels like you should say hi first, maybe buy me a drink.
My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about.
I have a hidden talent......I really wish I could find it!
Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.
Life is better when you can share it with a friend that has the same sick, twisted personality as yourself.
I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
I want to be something scary for Halloween so I am going as a positive pregnancy test......
You don`t know broke until you`ve rinsed off a paper plate.
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
Figuring out that you`ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.
"Always leave them wanting more" is my new mantra when paying bills.