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Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
Looks like Waldo got on the malasian plane.. well played waldo.. well played..
I don`t know how many girls it takes to change a light bulb, but I guarantee we`d post pictures of us doing it on Facebook.
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
Boy it`s nice out today... or at least that`s what it says on my computer.
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
I don’t understand ads on porn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like “woah! that’s the new detergent?”
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
Next time you`re in a hospital elevator, calmly ask a stranger if they know what floor you should get off at for infectious diseases.
I`m so, so sorry I started the whole Facebook Is Going To Start Charging thing. I didn`t think it would go THIS far..... sorry
I`ve totally cut carbs out of my diet. Until lunch.
ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"
Shout out to the single lady I saw buying a bunch of Duracell batteries on Valentine`s Day.