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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
We all need to take great interest in our future because we will spend the rest of our life there.
It`s a good thing farting isn`t as contagious as yawning.
When my boss says, "women of a certain age" then looks at me, it`s ok to stab her with a letter opener, right?
If weed is ever legalized, I can`t wait to see the commercials...
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
Keep honking. I´m reloading.
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
I wanted to book an Elvis impersonator for a party so I phoned them up and got a call centre. It said `press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.`
I hate to call it "one night stands"... I prefer the term "auditions"
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I’m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!
Who ever says "words can`t hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary.