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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You feel naked without your phone, I feel naked without my clothes.
Some people look for a perfect relationship, but all I want is a cheeseburger that looks like the ones on commercials!
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if Iโ€™m right
Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? ... Go ask your mother.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
Fart jokes ain`t funny, they stink.
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
I liked you better before we met.
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Wellโ€ฆmy phone number for a start.
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
I`m in no shape to exercise patience!