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I’m eating for two – me and that skinny girl inside my body. She likes cake, too.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
They don`t seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix… Don’t drink and derive!
What if all this time it`s been Chicken that taste like Frog legs????
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
cavemen were posting on walls before it was cool
To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)
I`d like to test the theory that money can`t buy you happiness.
I was all ears until you said something that sounded like advice.
I just blew all my party money on bills again
People who go rock climbing: you know you don`t have to, right
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
Ban pre-shredded cheese! Make America grate again.
New diet plan: murder all the skinny people.