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I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
Just found some old sex coupons I got from an ex for my b-day. Any of you ladies take competitor`s coupons?
My wife said she wanted to feel special. So I gave her a helmet and some crayons. Perhaps I misunderstood her?
60% of women fake orgasm.. 100% of men don`t give a sh*t about it..
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
I`m painting a blue square in my garden, so that Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
that strange moment when you get in the van and theres no candy...-Drew Balthaser
Personally, I think failure should be an option
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.