Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People who go jogging, you realise we have cars now, right?
Who the hell is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
It`s called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
I`m pretty sure apple kid below needs help..
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
I honestly have a fear that one day I`ll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
There`s this cool trick I do where I post whatever the f*ck I want becasue this is my account, not yours.
Congratulations India on successfully orbiting a probe around Mars. I assume you`ll be opening call centers on the red planet and using fake Martian names now?
I don`t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it
Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I`ll take lookout.
When asked how I take my coffee, I reply with, "Seriously. Very seriously."
I hate sneezing during sex, as it alerts the neighbours and lets them know I`m watching.
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.