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So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is vacuuming.
It’s embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
Alcohol. Because who really wants to remember last night?
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
Some people think I say inappropriate things...I perfer to think of it as being f*cking honest.
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
At the end of each day, life should ask us, `Do you want to save the changes?`
So apparently airport security doesn`t like it when you call shotgun before boarding a plane.
I`m going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.