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If I’ve offended you, please accept my apology. Then smack yourself in the face for getting offended by something on the Internet.
Being rich doesn`t equal happiness but i`d rather cry in a ferrari
If it were easy then everyone would act like me.
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk? My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill.
The guy that figured out babies instinctively hold their breath under water probably had a lot of explaining to do.
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
What am I taking to the Family Thanksgiving feast? Tupperware.
I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever....
If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..
This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date, so after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents` house