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MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
“Shh.. Do you hear that?” “What? I heard nothing.” “Exactly, it’s the sound of no one caring.”
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
I’M ENGAGED…..to be hungover tomorrow.
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
Currently helping my sister look for her chocolate`s I ate 4hrs ago.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
I`d say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed. ... just sayin! ;)
In my defense Your Honor, I thought she had been stung by a jellyfish.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."