Daily Silly Status

They say you have real problems if you hear disembodied voices; fortunately all my imaginary friends have bodies.

Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!

It`s hard to make your coffee when you haven`t had your coffee.

People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.

Is it true that the older you get the crazier you become? Or is that just me?

Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.

I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.

Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for stupid people.

Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.

I once ran a Half Marathon. Well, I say that because it sounds better than saying I collapsed and almost died halfway through a Full Marathon.

I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I’m going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.

Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?

Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.

Scientists are saying that social media is making us less accepting and more aggressive. Whatever, a$$holes!

I just found a $100 bill laying on the floor in the checkout lane. I don`t even have to try to find out who lost it, because it`s the same color, and has the same picture on it as the one I lost 2 years ago!! WooHoo, talk about fate huh??!!