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We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
You can`t fix stupid but you can divorce it
Guns don`t kill people. Girls who get tagged in a photo before they get a chance to see it kill people.
If one of Santa`s helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?
I like my women how I like my straws …. Bendy and full of liquor.
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.
cofeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee... Wheeeeeeeeee!
I love when bill collectors ask if you can borrow the money...uh I did that before and I think we both know how that turned out.
I was planning on doing something today, but I haven`t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
I`ve spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can`t find his nuggets.
Does the employee manual say I CAN`T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.
My ex was an absolute treasure and by treasure I mean you`ll need a shovel and map to find him.
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"