Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s pretty stupid the way mornings have to come every morning.
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges, to stop the weirdos from following you.
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
So it`s racist to call a team Redskins but it`s okay to call a restaurant Cracker Barrel ?
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Life is like a box of chocolates. Get your own and stay the hell out of mine.
"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place to have sex.
WOULD YOU RATHER: have six arms or giant antlers? (You don’t really get a choice; the surgeons were just sort of curious.)
I fear the day when our kids would look at old you tube videos of us doing the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style and think what a retarded generation ours was.
They`ll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that`s been open for more than 2 years.
I think my mailman is stealing my Nigerian lottery checks.
Someone stole my identity and returned it 10 minutes later.