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Singing passionately in the shower: Pretty good idea. Dancing passionately in the shower: Not so much.
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
I gave my dog a middle name today, so he knows when he`s really in trouble.
They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn`t mean to eat it. I don`t want to be a bug.
Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is
Don`t tell me what to do unless you`re naked.
"I like your tree`s earring." ... "That`s a tire swing."
Social networking sites is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves
I’m not brave. I’m just past the age where running is an option.
Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you’re trying to escape?
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test.
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
I noticed you’re not yourself today. I really like it.