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My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
If you’re gonna flip out on your Facebook, don’t delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.
I don`t always drink beer. But when I do, I always lie about not always drinking beer.
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.
I’m the king of balancing more trash on top of an already full trash can.
To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)
Accidentally walking through the camping aisle at Target every once in a while is about as outdoorsy as I get.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
God is testing me today, but I don`t think he realizes I`m a `C` student.
If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is not working.
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
You know that greener grass you see over there? You do realize it`s because they fertilize it with bullsh!t right?
My "Kiss me, I`m Irish" shirt only seems to be working on my dog.