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A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
If you’re going to walk really slowly in front of me you should at least have the courtesy to have a slammin booty.
Are security guards at Samsung stores called Guardians of the Galaxy?
Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
Is it wrong to swallow my multi-vitamin with a beer?
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.
I just wanna be the reason your doctor puts you on a new medication.
Hangry: (noun) a state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation -- Feed me or I`ll kill you.