Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
"Grow a pear." - How to insult an apple tree.
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
As the day goes on, coworkers start appearing more flammable.
My girlfriend says I shouldn`t plan things so far in advance. Well, she`s not my girlfriend yet.
I like to go to the bar and flip peoples license plates upside down, then go home and listen to my scanner.
My job description does not include farting on everyone else`s office chairs but I still do it because INITIATIVE.
Bike helmets only protect you from looking cool.
“Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
Please just put it in the fridge.... We`ll throw it away next week.
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
I want the time management skills of people who effortlessly carve out entire hours to be offended by every single thing on the internet.
Do transformers have health insurance or car insurance???
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.